I’ve never told this story publicly before. But I think it’s time — because it might save you from the heartbreak I experienced on my own wedding day.

My Honest Story: Why I Hate My Own Wedding Photos

In February 2024, I married the love of my life in our favorite place, Joshua Tree. We hired a photographer who wasn’t new to weddings. She had plenty of experience. She had lots of followers. Her work looked beautiful online. I thought I’d done everything right.

But from the moment the wedding day began?

It was clear something was wrong.

She didn’t introduce herself when she arrived, and she never asked what was important to us, even though I’d told her clearly ahead of time.

The photos I had dreamed of (like posed shots with my closest friends) never happened. The sentimental details I carefully curated? Ignored. She barely interacted with our family or wedding party, which left them feeling cold and confused.

There was no variety in our gallery. She used one camera and one lens the entire day — and never changed positions or tried different perspectives. Worst of all? She didn’t have a backup digital camera and missed a once-in-a-lifetime moment: my dad walking me down the aisle because her camera froze.

But looking back, the red flags were there before the wedding even happened.

The Red Flags I Missed (That You Shouldn’t)

Our photographer never sent us a questionnaire. She never asked what mattered to us personally.

Even on our initial phone call, she hardly asked any questions about who we were as a couple or what our vision was for the day.

She didn’t even ask about the dress code or vibe. We had asked all of our guests — and our vendor team — to stick with black cocktail attire. It was important to us that everyone fit the elevated, chic aesthetic we’d planned. She showed up in cream linen pants and a casual black shirt.

While that might sound minor, it completely threw off the cohesive look we’d worked so hard to curate.

It was just another sign she hadn’t taken any time to get to know us or understand what mattered to us.

A Beautiful Airbnb — and Another Missed Opportunity

We carefully chose the Airbnb where I got ready. It was funky, vibey, and filled with amazing textures and backdrops — a dream setting for detail shots. I had even told her ahead of time that details were one of my biggest priorities. I chose her over another photographer specifically because I loved the detail shots she showcased in her portfolio.

But on the day?

She chose to photograph all of my carefully selected details on a part of the concrete floor that had water stains.

She didn’t take the time to find the best spot — and she didn’t even edit out the stains afterward.

Even worse, she captured only one blurry film photo of the beautiful Airbnb and just one photo of the venue itself.

As a wedding photographer, I know how important your getting-ready space and your venue are. They’re part of your story and your vision for the day. I always take time to capture thoughtful images of your surroundings so your full wedding story can be remembered, not just the people in it.

But sadly, for us, that didn’t happen.

Poor Composition, Missed Moments, and Careless Culling

She sold herself as a “documentary” photographer. And while I respect a documentary approach, there’s a very fine line between candid storytelling and simply clicking the shutter without thought or artistry.

Composition still matters.

During my first look with my best friend, the composition was so poor it distracted from the emotion of the moment.

Creativity and movement matter.

All of our ceremony images were taken from one spot. She never moved to capture the beautiful desert landscape or the full ceremony framed by the Joshua Trees.

A photographer’s eye still matters.

During our couple’s portraits in Joshua Tree National Park, trees were literally growing out of our heads.

Curating a gallery still matters.

The reception images? Maybe five photos of the tablescape, and none thoughtfully composed.

And the final gallery felt like a memory card dump. Every image — flattering or not — was included. No intentional culling. No storytelling.

That’s not documentary photography. That’s carelessness.

When We Spoke Up, We Were Met With Excuses

After we received our gallery and shared it with some close friends, we knew we needed to reach out.

When we did, her response wasn’t to listen, reflect, or even apologize.

Instead, she repeatedly reminded us that this had been a “discounted” wedding, even though we never asked for a discount. She had offered it herself because it was a “dream destination” for her. But even if it had been heavily discounted, that would never justify providing anything less than her best work. Every couple, every love story, every wedding day deserves the same care and dedication.

She also blamed us.

She told us that our personalities were “hard to work with,” that the day was “stressful” (when in reality it was incredibly low-key and chill), and that I “wasn’t flexible.”

That last one really stung — because we had actually changed our timeline the morning of the wedding to work around rain and accommodate her needs.

We also raised concerns about the unflattering photos throughout the gallery. And it wasn’t just us — family and friends were photographed mid-sentence, blinking, or caught at awkward angles.

Her response?

“I can’t help how you feel about yourself.”

That’s something I would never say to a bride — or anyone. My job isn’t just to document your day. It’s to make you and everyone you love feel confident, seen, and celebrated. But because she hadn’t taken the time to get to know us, she made assumptions that simply weren’t true. If she’d spent even a little effort learning who we are and what matters to us, she would have known we’re easygoing, flexible, and value collaboration.

Her lack of connection led to poor communication and, ultimately, disappointment that could have been prevented.

What I Learned — and What I Now Give Every Couple

That experience changed me as a photographer. Honestly, it changed how I serve my couples in every way.

Here’s what I do to make sure none of my couples ever feel the way I did.

I Get to Know You Long Before the Wedding Day

I never just show up with a camera and start snapping, I take the time to really learn about you both — your personalities, your comfort zones, and what moments will mean the most on your wedding day.

Every couple fills out a thoughtful questionnaire. We have planning meetings. And I stay connected throughout the whole process. By the time your wedding day arrives, I’m not just another vendor — I’m someone who knows your story.

I Create a Photo Plan That Reflects Your Priorities

Your wedding day isn’t just a checklist of standard shots. Together, we’ll build a photography plan that highlights the people, places, and moments that matter most to you. Whether it’s a special detail or making sure we carve out time for posed photos with your best friends, your priorities come first.

I Help You Feel Comfortable and Confident

Most couples tell me they’re nervous about being photographed. That’s why I gently guide you, keep the atmosphere relaxed, and help you feel natural and at ease. Your real connection and personalities are what make your photos meaningful.

I Communicate Clearly — with Everyone

I’m not just there for you, I’m there for your entire circle. Family, friends, wedding party — everyone will feel comfortable and know what’s happening. No confusion. No cold or distant energy.

(And yes, I always greet my couples when I arrive!)

I Come Prepared (With the Right Gear + Backup Plans)

I use multiple lenses and camera bodies to create variety and ensure no moment is missed. Plus, I always have backups ready in case of technical issues. Your memories deserve that level of care and preparation.

I Deliver a Thoughtful, Curated Gallery

Even with a documentary approach, storytelling and composition are everything. I take the time to curate your gallery carefully — removing unflattering images and making sure each photo contributes to the narrative of your day.

Your wedding gallery should feel like a beautiful, cohesive story, not just a memory card dump.

How to Avoid Wedding Photo Regrets — My Best Tips

If you take nothing else from my story, take these:

✔ Choose a photographer who gets to know you.

During your search, pay attention to whether a photographer asks thoughtful questions about your story, personalities, and priorities — not just the logistics.

✔ Look for strong communication (before you even book).

You should feel comfortable asking questions and getting clear, timely responses. A photographer who values communication will make the entire process smoother.

✔ Don’t mistake “documentary” for disconnected.

Even candid/documentary photographers should pay attention to composition, variety, and flattering storytelling. Ask to see full galleries, not just highlights.

✔ Ask how they approach details, family photos, and candids.

Make sure they prioritize the moments and elements that matter most to you — and have a plan for how to capture them.

✔ Confirm they use multiple lenses and backup equipment.

Variety and technical preparedness are non-negotiable. Ask about backup cameras and how they handle equipment issues.

✔ Read reviews carefully.

Look for feedback not just on photos, but also on how the photographer handled the day, communication, and working with guests.

Final Thought

Your wedding photos should feel like you at your happiest.

Not a collection of missed moments, awkward poses, or impersonal snapshots.

If you’re looking for a photographer who takes the time to know you, plans thoughtfully, and creates images that truly reflect your love story, I’d love to chat. Let’s ensure your wedding photo experience is everything mine wasn’t (and so much more).

A shoutout to our other AMAZING vendors:

VENUE: Rimrock Ranch

PLANNER: Lily from El Events

HMUA: Meaghan from Black Fern Beauty Co.

FLORIST: Mo from Jardin

DRESS SHOP / BRIDAL STYLIST: Ashleigh from LVD Bridal